Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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