yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
