remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
