Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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