Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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