what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
