I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you would pick up someone in the library
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
