my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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