He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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