The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
