also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
