Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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