It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
