now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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