Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
