dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We left the knife in your bed.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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