You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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