I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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