thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
