What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
