Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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