it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
