That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
