GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
