U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Who died my cat blue again?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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