My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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