i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
