9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
