It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
