but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
