haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
