So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
