we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
