I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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