So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
