My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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