i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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