hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
