is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
