2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
