party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
