I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
