so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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