I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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