I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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