TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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