I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
