So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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