i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She told me I should be a condom model.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
