I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She bit a glass in half.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
